Hey, 1998 called and wants its girlfriend back

Landline is the second book by Rainbow Rowell I have read.  Similar to The Shadow Hero, it really helped get me out of my reading rut, though Landline helped me more on the audiobook front.

I read this book very quickly.  As soon as I finished it, I gave it a 5-star rating on GoodReads.  When I went to add it to LibraryThing, I went down a star to 4.  And now, as I prepare to review it, I am not entirely sure how I feel about it.  All of Rowell's best traits are present here - her wit, her humor, her realistic characters who are so lovable and flawed, and her wonderful way of bringing relationships to life in vivid, realistic ways.  And yet...

Landline is about Georgie McCool (yes, that's actually her name).  Georgie is a writer on a comedy TV show - I imagine her as a less fashionable and social media savvy Mindy Kaling - and she's just gotten her big break.  She and her best friend have been given the opportunity to write a pilot for their own show.  HUGE!  The only thing is, they have to work over Christmas to get the scripts ready, and Georgie is supposed to go to Omaha with her husband and daughters.  She and her husband, Neil, have been going through a rocky patch recently (or for the entirety of their relationship, more or less), and Georgie knows this will be a tough conversation.  It is, and Neil ends up taking their kids to Omaha while Georgie stays behind t work.  And then, when Georgie tries to call, she can never get through to Neil.  Or, at least, not to Neil now.  She is able to use her mom's landline to reach Neil 15 years ago, just before he proposed marriage to her.

There were a lot of things that I liked about this book, but many of those same aspects could be flipped and bother me, too.  Maybe this is why I don't know how to rate it.  For example:

• The premise of mother as provider and father as nurturer is taken for granted and not even discussed, which I appreciate in that it normalizes the situation.  I love that Georgie works and doesn't really spend a lot of time talking about how bad she feels that she doesn't drive her kids home from school; in fact, she barely talks about her daughters - this book is about her marriage, not about her entire family.  
• However, this situation really is not quite natural for most people, and there's a lot of guilt on the mom's side, at least, and while that came out a bit subconsciously with all Georgie's comments about how great a father Neil is and how much his daughters love him (would these gushing comments ever be used to describe a stay-at-home mom, I wonder?), I can't help but think that a lot of the tension in Georgie's marriage came from the fact that she worked long hours and her husband stayed at home, and as that was never dealt with, I felt like the story could have been a lot more.

Next:

• Georgie goes on and on about how much Neil sacrificed for her and how she needs him more than he needs her.  This is nice, too, because I feel like in books and life many times, it's the woman who sacrifices her career and passion to help out her husband.  Neil is really good at being on Georgie's side, through everything.  Er, except this whole working through Christmas thing
• This was really hard for me to stomach.   I didn't really believe that Neil sacrificed much at all.  He didn't have any goals or ambitions in life except to be with Georgie (which he fully admitted and which is fine), whereas Georgie knew exactly what she wanted in life and went after it.  So... what exactly did Neil sacrifice?  Moving away from his beloved Omaha to live in hated Los Angeles?  Fine, but given that he didn't have anything really pulling him in any other direction, it's hard to feel sorry for him.  And what is with the whole premise of Neil always being on her side but she not always being on his side?  I didn't see anything anywhere in which Georgie was not on Neil's side, too, so it bothered me that she felt that way.
• BUT, that's probably realistic, right?  I mean, given Georgie's position as the working mom who probably already has guilt and other issues she's sorting through, she would probably make her husband out to be this fantastic man who deserves the world and herself to be some sort of pariah.
• AND just because he hasn't sacrificed his life's work to be with Georgie, that doesn't mean that Neil doesn't have any right to be unhappy, right?  I mean, the guy has a right to his feelings.
• But that doesn't mean that he sacrificed so much more than she did.

Then:

• There is a lot of time spent talking about how Georgie has basically let herself go.  I guess she's gained a lot of weight since having her kids, she wears old Metallica t-shirts, doesn't have any bras that fit her, and barely showers or changes her underwear.  It's pretty gross.  I suppose part of this is supposed to be grief that her husband and children are gone, but it comes off more as, "This woman doesn't even try any more."
• We are also told that Neil was overweight in college, with an almost double chin.  But now that he is a stay-at-home dad, he has all this time to go biking around LA with his daughters and now he is LEAN and FIT and super-attractive.
• Everything about this situation bothered me.  The lack of personal hygiene is very bothersome.  The emphasis given to Georgie's appearance now vs previously and Neil's appearance now vs previously seems full of subtext.
• But isn't it understandable that a woman with a demanding job and a family at home would prioritize many things over the stationary bike.  And isn't it reasonable that Georgie now feels a bit insecure, as Neil is the hot one in their relationship?

Also:

• Georgie's best friend is Seth, an amazingly good-looking and charming man whom she works with on their comedy shows.  Applause to Rowell for having a man and women be such good friends through so much without any romantic tension.
• Oh, wait, there was romantic tension.
• Ok, fine, that's believable.  You don't choose to spend the better part of 20 years of your life working with someone on your dream and vision for your life's work without maybe giving them a little bit of your heart.
• But wait, is Seth really Georgie's best friend?  Because he didn't have much personality in the book.  My guess would have been that Georgie's best friend was her half-sister.

Ohmigosh, Georgie's half-sister.  And her mom.  Really, all the side characters in this book were fantastic.  I loved them all (except Seth, who did not really come to life for me).  

So, I don't really know what to think of this book.  I DO think it is a very true portrayal of what commitment really is - it's not all grand, romantic gestures and sweeping a person off their feet.  It's making an active choice, every day, to choose the other person and take the good with the bad.  I'm not in a marriage or a long-term relationship, but that felt very real to me.

And the audiobook is SO well-done.  If you like audiobooks and you like Rowell, I highly recommend trying her on audiobook.

So a lot of points in this book's favor!  But definitely many troubling points for me, too.